Sunday will be Mothers' Day so I wanted this week to support something motherhood-related. Like midwifery.

When I went through pregnancy and childbirth forty years ago, using the services of a midwife was not a realistic option for me, though I was certainly interested in the idea. I later joined the Midwifery Task Force of Ontario and just recently discovered their 15th (Summer 1987) newsletter, The Midwifery Issue, in my files.

I found hospital birth to be a rather depersonalizing experience and was glad that our daughter's family in Quebec was able to avail themselves of the care and personal attention offered by their midwives.

Up until a few weeks ago, Laurentian University in Sudbury offered the only bilingual midwifery education program in Ontario. That program has now been eliminated in the wake of Laurentian's recent financial woes. A great pity, because Laurentian's midwifery grads were in high demand, often serving in remote northern and indigenous communities. If you care about this, you may wish to make your concerns known in some way, such as by signing this petition:

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScuXSRRxrcKVD8VpL6gXNc_1WaczEKSYTzVycB0Kh0CjgsqsA/viewform

The two remaining university-based midwifery programs in Ontario are offered by Ryerson in Toronto and McMaster in Hamilton. McMaster is already a high-profile hub for health sciences research and teaching and will hopefully be able to fill some of the gap created by Laurentian's closure:

https://healthsci.mcmaster.ca/midwifery

The "News" section of the site is well worth a browse, with items on the relative risks of home and hospital births, pandemic-era pregnancy & childbirth, polyamory and more. But what particularly caught my eye was the information about the Excellence in Midwifery Student Leadership Scholarship:

https://healthsci.mcmaster.ca/midwifery/news-events/news/news-article/2020/10/19/excellence-in-midwifery-student-leadership-scholarship

That's where I ultimately decided to direct my donation in the belief that with limited funds to donate, it was where I could feel I was making a visible difference.
What was the best advice your mother gave you? Was it "Mind your manners" or "Eat your vegetables" or "Always wear clean underwear"?

One thing that my mother used to say that echoes through my brain from time to time is "It'd be a dull world if we were all alike". The other thing, somewhat related to that, which she would say to me if I came home from school with some lengthy tale of woe about real or imagined injustices done to me that day was, "You know, you'll just have to learn to take people the way they come." Good advice but, like a lot of good advice, hard to follow, especially when you're a kid and think everything's all about you.

I think by the time I came along, over eight years after her penultimate child, my mother was frankly a bit tired of the motherhood thing. Conscientious and experienced, yes; enthusiastic, not so much. But then, childlessness was seen as an aberration in her generation; only with my generation and the ready availability and acceptance of contraceptive pills and common-law relationships did motherhood come to be regarded as just one choice amongst many other equally valid ones.

While I certainly would not want to turn back the clock to an era when women had few options in life, I do think that nowadays, there is enormous pressure on women who have opted for motherhood to be Supermother. Not to mention a successful career woman and preferably a corporate executive as well! After all, she CHOSE this lifestyle! Who does she think she is to be exhausted after a few months of sleepless nights?

I HAVE seen some progress between my generation and my daughter's - improvements in parental leave and benefits, for example, and gradual changes in overall social attitudes - but there's still a way to go.
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