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There's a move afoot in Canada to have a dedicated 911 line for suicide prevention, similar to the 988 service offered in many parts of the U.S. Clearly suicide is not a new problem, but as mental health worsens amid pandemic restrictions, concern is growing proportionately. Here's what Crisis Services Canada have to say on the matter:

https://suicideprevention.ca/COVID-19

And here is a list of crisis lines, not just for Canada but for other countries as well:

https://thelifelinecanada.ca/help/call/

In the U.K., my brother used to volunteer with The Samaritans - I'm guessing the closest local equivalent would be the Distress Centre, although we also have a Kids' Help Phone and various special-purpose services such as those geared to the LGBT+ community.

Suicide, whether contemplated, averted or achieved, also features widely in literature and film. Many will be familiar with the 1946 holiday film classic "It's A Wonderful Life" in which George Bailey decides that he does want to keep living after all, once his guardian angel has shown him what his world, as he's lived it, would have been like if he'd never been born.

The book I'm reading now, The Midnight Library, offers another spin on the idea. Thirty-five year-old Nora Seed has decided to end it all. Then we get brief flashbacks to what happened nineteen years before she reached that decision, then 27 hours before, 9 hours, five hours, and so on, until she comes to write her suicide note.

At the zero hour, she find herself in a library, with a librarian who reminds her of her school librarian from 19 years ago. But this is no ordinary library - it's a library between life and death. All the books in it are the story of her life. But that doesn't mean they are all copies of the same book.

Then there's The Book of Regrets. It's a very heavy book. Well, wouldn't you expect that someone who had decided to end it all would have plenty of regrets about how she's lived her life?

So she picks a regret. Her cat died and she regrets that she didn't look after him better. She asks the librarian for the version of her life in which she kept the cat inside so he couldn't get run over. She lives that life for the next dozen pages or so until she finds herself getting dissatisfied with that alternate version of her life too ... at which point she finds herself back in the library, where she can ask the librarian for a different version of her biography. And so it goes.

Well, I guess when you get to a certain age, you're bound to have a number of "should'ves" in life. Matt Haig's book The Midnight Library adds a few layers of complexity to the storyline of those feel-good Christmas movies. I mean sure, if George Bailey had never been born, his brother would have drowned instead of becoming a war hero. The druggist would have poisoned a bunch of patients. Then again, maybe his wife would have become the Librarian of Congress and Annie the maid would have been a Black Lives Matter heroine with her picture on the ten-dollar bill. You never know.

Still, the book is feel-good in some ways. It might make you feel better about not having done some of the things that you think you should have done. I'm not sure that it will prevent any suicides, but that's a pretty tall order for any book. And this one is definitely worth a read.

This week's donation goes to CAPSA, which is an acronym for Community Addictions Peer Support Association:

https://capsa.ca/recovery-day-ottawa/

Today, September 25, is Recovery Day Ottawa, a day devoted to the support of those grappling with addictions and substance abuse issues.

Mayor Jim Watson has also proclaimed today Dave Smith Day. Dave Smith died recently and his humanitarian legacy in making Ottawa a better place for disadvantaged residents is well known. He is perhaps best known for the Dave Smith Youth Treatment Centre.

Young people, regardless of personal or family circumstances, are typically dealing with a lot of growing pains even if their physical and mental health is comparatively good and stable. Usually, they are forming new bonds with people outside of their immediate family and household. But this process of developing new relationships with others is hindered considerably by pandemic rules and conditions. They may turn to alcohol, cannabis or opioids to dull their pain or compensate for the lack of positive interpersonal interactions with others.

Fortunately, many young people have a rich online life, much of it positive.

Recovery Day will be celebrated virtually today between the hours of 3 and 8PM. Details are available on the CAPSA website.

I've devoted a fair bit of space in this blog to putting myself in the shoes of people I see as most disadvantaged or profoundly affected by the pandemic. Today I'm going to indulge in a little self-absorbed navel-gazing about how this whole thing is affecting me personally.

My income has not really been affected. Since I'm retired with a defined-benefit pension, the money continues to flow into my account at the end of every month. My expenses are generally lower than they were. Fixed expenses are roughly the same but discretionary expenses are down. I don't shop (except online) unless I have to, I don't eat out any more, I don't buy new clothes, I don't travel. I don't go to plays, concerts or movies. I do perhaps spent a bit more on books than I did before, particularly with libraries being closed. But a lot of the reading I'm doing is free - or perhaps in accounting terms a "sunk cost" - as I visit or revisit the books that have languished on my shelves over the years.

I'm baking a little more than I used to - muffins and cookies and cake to go with strawberries and cream. I try to get out for a walk each day and to do a short daily exercise routine at home, but some days, especially during a heat wave, I don't get very far. And without anywhere much to go, I'm doing less in the way of incidental activity (like walking to and from bus stops or walking around downtown) than I used to before lockdown.

As for online activity, there's still this blog and there's still e-mail and banking and a bit of online shopping, plus following "Type M" and listening to the occasional podcast or watching the odd short video. But I haven't embraced Zoom or online meetings at all.

The cat seems unusually restless and needy these days. She'll suddenly decide she has to see what her humans are up to and comes into the room meowing for attention. It's quite entertaining during the day, less so at 3AM. And my sleep patterns are definitely disrupted, regardless of any feline intervention. Sometimes I lie awake for hours despite being tired, restless with creaky joints while the sounds of street-racing or fireworks or other sounds seep in the windows along with the cooler night air. At other times, I'll drop off to sleep quite easily but wake up again in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes plagued by the memory of anxiety-tinged dreams. Last night was a fairly good night - I took a bit of time to drop off but then slept pretty well until the morning, when I drifted in and out of sleep until the 8 o-clock news.

They say it's important to establish some sort of routine, even though it's inevitably going to be a bit different from your pre-lockdown schedule. And we do have that. But part of the problem is that the things I want to do or get done can only be done at certain times of the day, and not necessarily when I'm at my best. For example, yesterday was grocery-shopping day. The best time to do that is the first hour the grocery store is open, which has been designated as seniors' shopping hour. Our local Loblaws opens at 7 AM. So we set out from here soon after 7:00 and that was OK. But the Pet Valu store next door doesn't open till 9 AM and in pre-pandemic days, that was our main source for Greenies and our usual brand of kitty litter, which are not available at the Loblaws store. Then there are other stores we shop at which don't open until 11 AM, and some of them only on certain days of the week. So rather than getting the shopping all done in one fell swoop (which seems to be what we've been urged to do, at least in the early stages of lockdown), we have to precision-plan our time.

Anyway, I'm muddling along, my health is OK and I know I'm much more fortunate than many. Some days I feel hopeful, other days I feel grouchy and pessimistic. The aftermath of the pandemic may be more daunting than any of the "waves" and it may not be over even when it's over.

But reopening phase 3 is just days away. Onward and outward, I say!

I have long been a fan of Bridgehead and the whole notion of fair trade. I remember when they had a shop on Sussex Drive and an annual catalogue of fair trade items you could order. I was even a regular customer of the Bridgehead coffee shop on Wellington Street where the Abdirahman Abdi incident occurred. It was a pleasant place to while away the time, with its comfy furniture and its corner with toys for the kids, and a good selection of city and neighbourhood newspapers.

The incident occurred nearly four years ago but has waxed and waned in the public spotlight ever since. It's definitely in "waxing" mode right now with all the anti-racism protests following the brutal killing of George Floyd by a white police officer in Minnesota, and then a march this past Saturday specifically organized by the Justice for Abdi Coalition. Today on CBC's Ottawa Morning, former Bridgehead CEO Tracey Clark was interviewed along with anti-racism advocate Farhia Ahmed. Clark offered an almost grovelling mea-culpa-style apology for her reaction to the incident four years ago:

https://www.cbc.ca/player/play/1754840643742

But personally, I don't think she really had anything to apologize for. Here's the CBC news item from four years ago - I'll let you be the judge:

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/bridgehead-owner-speaks-abdirahman-abdi-1.3708589

The thing is, there are a lot of sets of rights to be considered here. Abdi was a black man with a mental illness and and apparently a regular customer of the Wellington Street Bridgehead coffee shop. But whether he was in control of his actions or not, he was also physically strong and capable of considerable violence - as was clearly in evidence when he harassed and sexually assaulted at least half a dozen women. Could he have been treated more humanely? Yes. Did he deserve to die? No. But other people have rights too!

What about the women he assaulted? If even one of them had opted to pursue a complaint to the full extent of the law, we might be hearing a far more complex and convoluted story than what we're getting today. Not that I blame them - we have a long and not-so-proud history of painting female victims and survivors as guilty parties! I myself could tell my own story, though it's far less dramatic or traumatic. Back in the 1970s, a black security guard at the National Gallery of Canada (when it was still in the Lorne Building on Elgin Street) made a pass at me when I was there on a Thursday evening. I was wandering about the modern art when he asked something like "Are you staying at a hotel?" I said no and moved away to another artwork. Then I felt someone put a hand on my hair and shoulder. Startled, I looked around and he asked, "Are you scared?" "No," I said and escaped into a nearby stairwell. Fortunately that was the end of it. I did consider making a formal complaint but had the feeling that particular with him being black, my complaint would be construed as racist. And being busy with schoolwork and the like, it frankly felt like too much bother.

So anyway, my biggest concern would be for the women he assaulted. But I also feel for the staff and the other customers in the coffee shop. And also the police officers, who have a difficult job to do, are required to make split-second decisions and lack effective tools and social and community resources - and quite likely an adequate amount of training and education - to properly handle confrontations involving serious mental health problems.

So before we come out with knee-jerk demands to eliminate "police brutality" by "defunding" the police, let's take a cold hard look at how we treat ALL segments of society, whether that's black folks, women, the mentally ill, the poor or anyone we think of "different" or "other".

That's how things look to me. Am I missing something here?

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Or somewhere in between? And how has that influenced your reaction to measures imposed as a result of the COVID 19 epidemic?

I would definitely place myself on the introvert side of the spectrum. I value my alone-time, although I'm not a total recluse. And I don't like crowds at the best of times. So theoretically, I guess I should be one of those best-placed to weather the social distancing and all the various extraordinary measures dictated by these extraordinary times. Who, then, would be the worst-placed in terms of coming through the ordeal with minimal psychological and emotional harm?

Well, presumably the extroverts, the social butterflies, the life-of-the-party types. We see these folks in all demographics, of course, but in my experience they are most prevalent amongst youth, let's say those in the 15-to-25 age group. Roughly speaking, the upper tier of the post-millennial generation.

Most of these people are becoming more independent, forging connections with people outside their immediate family, getting involved in academic projects, extracurricular activities, finding jobs (whether paid or volunteer) and embarking upon careers. Then along comes this virus and suddenly they are told to go back home and hole up with those people who are their nearest, though not necessarily their dearest - one or more parents, stepparents, siblings and so on. Even if they have their own place, such as an apartment or a room in a university residence, they may well have to vacate those, either because it's been decreed by the university administration or because they are no longer drawing the wages that had till now allowed them (if only barely) to maintain the lifestyle to which they had become accustomed.

When we talk about disaffected youth, delinquency and petty vandalism, gang activity and other serious crime, substance abuse, bullying, suicide or even just kids loitering in malls or glued to their screens - the point usually raised by community groups and public officials is that these young people are bored, they have nothing to do, we need to put recreational programs and homework clubs and youth leadership opportunities in place. We need scout jamborees and Me to We events! But now, in the face of emergency, it is these very groups and officials who are closing these things down.

The saving graces, I suppose, are (a) that young people are likelier than older cohorts to be in relatively robust PHYSICAL health; and (b) that online activity by youth, including texting and social media, can be used for good as well as for evil - they can turn on their devices, tune in to what's going on around them, and drop IN virtually, in a good way.

It's sex and drugs and rock and roll (and other forms of music too) for a different generation. None of the aforementioned things is good or bad in and of itself - it's a question of how it's used.