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Michelle, Madelle
Mar. 31st, 2012 10:51 amSo the French government has abolished "Mademoiselle" in its official documents. Well, it was really only formalizing what has been the reality in francophone countries for at least several decades now. While we have "Ms." in English, which like "Mr." gives no clue as to marital status, the honorific "Madelle" or "Mdle" has never really caught on with francophones. Instead, "Madame" or "Mme" is used for any adult woman, regardless of her marital status, and regardless of whether she uses the surname she was born with or that of her partner, or a combination of the two.
With respect to surnames, the Quebec government is quite progressive, not to mention practical, in that it considers a woman's birth or maiden name to be her official name (unless she changes it legally), even if she is known socially by a different one. It makes a lot of sense. After all, women do not change their birth certificates if they adopt a husband's (or wife's) surname. And women may go through several marriages over the course of their lives, so it can be difficult to track them down if they continually change their name!
Things were not always so logical. I recall the ridiculous arguments in the late 1970s over whether Maureen McTeer was really Maureen McTeer. Or was she Maureen Clark or Maureen McTeer-Clark or Mrs. Joe Clark? Certainly, on the floor of the House of Commons, there were far more pressing issues the MP's could have been spending their time on!
When I got married in 1976, I made the (for those days) relatively daring decision to keep my own name. Reaction was mixed. Some of my fellow students asked dubiously, "Are you sure that's legal?" The woman at the OHIP office frowned at me and told me I'd be in for a lot of bother because every time I went to the doctor, I would have to provide two surnames so that they could properly track me. When I applied for a passport, I had to include a note with my application stating that I had never been known by my married name. Even my own mother, for a short time after my marriage, insisted on putting my spouse's surname in brackets after my preferred one on envelopes addressed to me, because she didn't want the posties to think I was living in sin!
When my daughter was born, it was the law in Ontario at the time that legally she had to have her father's surname, if her parents were married to each other. That was fine with me, although I do think parents should have the choice (as they now do) of which surname or combination thereof to give their children. And when she started school, mothers with surnames different from those of their children were still comparatively rare, though not unheard of.
Contrary to what some people used to (and perhaps still do) think, it was never a question of being ashamed of my marriage or my partner. It was simply a question of being a person in my own right, and having become known by a particular name - so why change it?
At any rate, it seems time has caught up with me and the other trailblazers who prefer to use their hername as a surname.
With respect to surnames, the Quebec government is quite progressive, not to mention practical, in that it considers a woman's birth or maiden name to be her official name (unless she changes it legally), even if she is known socially by a different one. It makes a lot of sense. After all, women do not change their birth certificates if they adopt a husband's (or wife's) surname. And women may go through several marriages over the course of their lives, so it can be difficult to track them down if they continually change their name!
Things were not always so logical. I recall the ridiculous arguments in the late 1970s over whether Maureen McTeer was really Maureen McTeer. Or was she Maureen Clark or Maureen McTeer-Clark or Mrs. Joe Clark? Certainly, on the floor of the House of Commons, there were far more pressing issues the MP's could have been spending their time on!
When I got married in 1976, I made the (for those days) relatively daring decision to keep my own name. Reaction was mixed. Some of my fellow students asked dubiously, "Are you sure that's legal?" The woman at the OHIP office frowned at me and told me I'd be in for a lot of bother because every time I went to the doctor, I would have to provide two surnames so that they could properly track me. When I applied for a passport, I had to include a note with my application stating that I had never been known by my married name. Even my own mother, for a short time after my marriage, insisted on putting my spouse's surname in brackets after my preferred one on envelopes addressed to me, because she didn't want the posties to think I was living in sin!
When my daughter was born, it was the law in Ontario at the time that legally she had to have her father's surname, if her parents were married to each other. That was fine with me, although I do think parents should have the choice (as they now do) of which surname or combination thereof to give their children. And when she started school, mothers with surnames different from those of their children were still comparatively rare, though not unheard of.
Contrary to what some people used to (and perhaps still do) think, it was never a question of being ashamed of my marriage or my partner. It was simply a question of being a person in my own right, and having become known by a particular name - so why change it?
At any rate, it seems time has caught up with me and the other trailblazers who prefer to use their hername as a surname.
