"Neurotypical" is still a label
Nov. 10th, 2020 01:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
blogcutterWhy do we have to label everyone? Why are certain personality traits considered nobler than others, even when on the surface they appear to be neutral statements of fact, like having light or dark eyes, hair or skin? I felt a pang of sympathy for the author of this article:
https://www.cbc.ca/parents/learning/view/dear-everyone-please-stop-calling-my-kid-shy
Shyness in kids, or adults for that matter, is often innate. It may also be cultivated or reinforced by well-meaning parents, teachers and others who give them advice or instructions like "Don't talk to strangers," "It's not polite to make personal remarks" or "If you can't say anything nice about someone, don't say anything at all." Then there's the fear of negative repercussions if they dare to contradict or disobey someone in authority, or who is perceived to be in authority. But is shyness, in and of itself, necessarily something that must be conquered or overcome?
We also love to rush to judgement of others. And sometimes of ourselves too, in the form of guilt and regret. Here's another example, again coming from a parent:
https://www.cbc.ca/parents/learning/view/expectation-vs-reality
"Aspy" types are somehow considered cool these days. And if they get called out for floundering in social situations or failing to read certain social cues, they go on about how it's fine for the rest of us "neurotypicals" who, they believe, come by their social savvy through some sort of gene or instinct. Well, I'm here to say that everyone needs to learn stuff in life - and it's not limited to academic subjects either!
I can't help but feel that it would be a nicer, kinder and more comfortable world if we could all just be ourselves. And if we didn't constantly get on our high moral horses about others who do just that. Perhaps I'm showing my age here. Some say we tend to get more compassionate as we age. Personally I do feel freer to be my authentic self now that I'm out of the employment rat-race. And I don't care as much about what people think of me.
Maybe it's all a matter of changing the story as we experience it. I'll leave you today with this article on aging and narrative identity:
https://getpocket.com/explore/item/how-aging-shapes-narrative-identity?utm_source=pocket-newtab
https://www.cbc.ca/parents/learning/view/dear-everyone-please-stop-calling-my-kid-shy
Shyness in kids, or adults for that matter, is often innate. It may also be cultivated or reinforced by well-meaning parents, teachers and others who give them advice or instructions like "Don't talk to strangers," "It's not polite to make personal remarks" or "If you can't say anything nice about someone, don't say anything at all." Then there's the fear of negative repercussions if they dare to contradict or disobey someone in authority, or who is perceived to be in authority. But is shyness, in and of itself, necessarily something that must be conquered or overcome?
We also love to rush to judgement of others. And sometimes of ourselves too, in the form of guilt and regret. Here's another example, again coming from a parent:
https://www.cbc.ca/parents/learning/view/expectation-vs-reality
"Aspy" types are somehow considered cool these days. And if they get called out for floundering in social situations or failing to read certain social cues, they go on about how it's fine for the rest of us "neurotypicals" who, they believe, come by their social savvy through some sort of gene or instinct. Well, I'm here to say that everyone needs to learn stuff in life - and it's not limited to academic subjects either!
I can't help but feel that it would be a nicer, kinder and more comfortable world if we could all just be ourselves. And if we didn't constantly get on our high moral horses about others who do just that. Perhaps I'm showing my age here. Some say we tend to get more compassionate as we age. Personally I do feel freer to be my authentic self now that I'm out of the employment rat-race. And I don't care as much about what people think of me.
Maybe it's all a matter of changing the story as we experience it. I'll leave you today with this article on aging and narrative identity:
https://getpocket.com/explore/item/how-aging-shapes-narrative-identity?utm_source=pocket-newtab
(no subject)
Date: 2020-11-11 02:54 pm (UTC)Much of the division we see today is because people concentrate too much on labels and not on talking to other human beings. Shakespeare said it best and better than I ever could.
"I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer as a Christian is? If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that. If a Jew wrong a Christian, what is his humility? Revenge. If a Christian wrong a Jew, what should his sufferance be by Christian example? Why, revenge. The villainy you teach me I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction."
(III.i.49–61)