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How important is the "Family Dinner"?
Aug. 23rd, 2012 08:01 pmI guess there's always, to some extent, a pendulum effect in social attitudes. Is it sort of like the way women's skirt-hems were always supposed to mirror the economy, rising when the stock market was up, falling when it tanked? Whatever the case, I never expected the recent rash of articles extolling the family dinner as a panacea for all the ills of the modern age. Apparently, it promotes healthier eating, better academic achievement and family harmony, while averting obesity, alcholism, substance abuse and mental illness. Wow.
Now, I recognize that throughout history, breaking bread together - as a family, or with friends, or in some sort of community - has had powerful social and symbolic value. On the other hand, family dinners can easily degenerate into squabbles over table manners, picky eaters and starving children in the pays du jour, food allergies, hygiene, assigned chores, conflicting schedules or even long-standing issues that have nothing whatsoever to do with the food in front of people!
Around our place, the dining-room table generally gets used for "occasions" like Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner, in part because special dinners usually have so many individual components and accessories that it makes sense to serve them in this way. The rest of the time, the table tends to be used for other projects, most of which have little to do with food or drink - sewing and repairing clothes, paying bills, doing income taxes, and so on. I don't honestly think that the family has suffered as a result.
Is this all a big plot to drive women, especially mothers, out of the boardrooms and back to a mandatory full-time homemaking role? Do we really need yet another guilt-trip to add to our already lengthy list?
I was surprised at what I found when I looked back at a couple of books which I expected to epitomize the 1950s ideal of women as pregnant, barefoot (or better yet, high-heeled) and in the kitchen. First, the Betty Crocker Picture Cook Book, copyright 1950. Even Betty Crocker emphasized the importance of relaxing now and then. "Refresh your spirits," she wrote. "Garden, paint pictures, pursue any hobby, look through a magazine for home planning ideas, read a good book, or attend club meetings." She also emphasized that the woman of the house need not do everything herself. "Very young children can set and clear the table. Older ones can cook." She pointed out that "Some stores have a wide selection of hot cooked meats and main dishes, salads, desserts, etc., ready for you to take home and serve. Larger cities have special eating places or preparation centers that will deliver complete hot meals right to your home for immediate serving."
Then there's the "Handbook of Home Economics for Ottawa Public Schools" copyright 1960. Under "General Directions for Serving" it states: Boys as well as girls should be taught to wait on the table correctly and to take their turn at serving. Mind you, it's anyone's guess whether the boys were informed of this, as boys didn't take home economics in those days! There's also a section on "Buffet-style Meals", stating that "Buffet luncheons or suppers are very popular in this television age."
Hmm. Could it be a kind of false memory syndrome that's leading us to over-idealize the family meal?
Now, I recognize that throughout history, breaking bread together - as a family, or with friends, or in some sort of community - has had powerful social and symbolic value. On the other hand, family dinners can easily degenerate into squabbles over table manners, picky eaters and starving children in the pays du jour, food allergies, hygiene, assigned chores, conflicting schedules or even long-standing issues that have nothing whatsoever to do with the food in front of people!
Around our place, the dining-room table generally gets used for "occasions" like Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner, in part because special dinners usually have so many individual components and accessories that it makes sense to serve them in this way. The rest of the time, the table tends to be used for other projects, most of which have little to do with food or drink - sewing and repairing clothes, paying bills, doing income taxes, and so on. I don't honestly think that the family has suffered as a result.
Is this all a big plot to drive women, especially mothers, out of the boardrooms and back to a mandatory full-time homemaking role? Do we really need yet another guilt-trip to add to our already lengthy list?
I was surprised at what I found when I looked back at a couple of books which I expected to epitomize the 1950s ideal of women as pregnant, barefoot (or better yet, high-heeled) and in the kitchen. First, the Betty Crocker Picture Cook Book, copyright 1950. Even Betty Crocker emphasized the importance of relaxing now and then. "Refresh your spirits," she wrote. "Garden, paint pictures, pursue any hobby, look through a magazine for home planning ideas, read a good book, or attend club meetings." She also emphasized that the woman of the house need not do everything herself. "Very young children can set and clear the table. Older ones can cook." She pointed out that "Some stores have a wide selection of hot cooked meats and main dishes, salads, desserts, etc., ready for you to take home and serve. Larger cities have special eating places or preparation centers that will deliver complete hot meals right to your home for immediate serving."
Then there's the "Handbook of Home Economics for Ottawa Public Schools" copyright 1960. Under "General Directions for Serving" it states: Boys as well as girls should be taught to wait on the table correctly and to take their turn at serving. Mind you, it's anyone's guess whether the boys were informed of this, as boys didn't take home economics in those days! There's also a section on "Buffet-style Meals", stating that "Buffet luncheons or suppers are very popular in this television age."
Hmm. Could it be a kind of false memory syndrome that's leading us to over-idealize the family meal?
