White Christmas 2.0, or, No Hope for Crosby or Berlin

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like the ones we soon won't know
We'll have people kissing,
and rain down-pissing
Between sprigs of mistletoe

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
As I tell Santa what I'd like
I had hoped he'd send me a bike
But his postal elves have all gone on strike

This will not be a grand Christmas,
Our lives have hit us in the purse,
But I know it could be much worse,
Let's make all our holidays diverse!